I can't recall much about my existence before the age of 7 but from 7 onwards, all I could remember was my crazy doodling obsession. I would willingly spend the entire school holidays doodling on scrap pieces of paper, rather than digesting science encyclopedias. My artwork passion may have been one of the prime reasons for my poor grades in school. When students my year got shuffled around based on their grades, I was shocked to be in the top class. Sadly enough, I was mostly the top from the bottom. Not that I really cared then. Students from that particular school were brought up in frugal conditions but some of them still did manage to ace their tests despite the hardships faced back home.
When I moved to Kuala Lumpur, I was hyped about my new surroundings but I did struggle to make new friends, mainly due to my introvert personality. Eventually, I did made friends after being someone's shadow for a few months. And then, I met a new-found hobby and interest, chess. What started out as friendly tournaments eventually won me third place the next year. I was overloaded with joy that I almost tripped on stage. I still dislike my academic work and paid little attention to tuition classes. What torture it was to listen to the teacher blab for 2 hours when I should be having my afternoon naps.
The young lass then moved on to high school. First impression: a sea of interesting people, mostly from wealthy backgrounds and many refused to achieve much academically. Although I wasn't among the top scholars, I still scored average. My interest in chess couldn't have been more ignited but I still found time for doodling. As I age, I grew fond of competitions and that pushed me to be a better scholar. Knowing that I can excel more than the top "brains" in class satisfied this hunger of mine. I constantly go through loads of practice questions but unfortunately, fell ill for the finals. I remember crying my eyes out knowing that I didn't get what I wanted.
At 17, I felt as though the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders. I attended my regular classes in addition to extra-curriculum activities and after school tuition sessions. I would come home feeling exhausted after all those activities and still needed to do some household chores and complete my homework. To top it off, I was aiming big for my chess competitions as it was the finale. When I have some spare time in between classes, I can be spotted with a variety of chess quiz booklets.
Everything paid off once I scored gold in one of my competitions. I did not sleep the night before but that one game made me jumped, danced and grinned like never before! I pushed myself even harder for the state competition but failed to thrive under pressure. I must have cried a river when that happened but somehow, I still managed to get into the state team. Attending training sessions were a hassle as I relied heavily on my relatives for transport. All paid off well when I did scored a couple of medals during the nation competition. After that, I was back to my studies. I did not attain my desired grades but I couldn't care less because I knew that as long as I have put in 100% effort, there is no reason to sulk over my mistakes.
I loved every bit of college despite not being the top student in class. I constantly kicked myself when I did not score good grades and pushed myself even harder but no drastic changes noticed. I was worried for my future. Not knowing where my true passion lies, I signed up for one degree and hoped for the best from my results. As usual, I was ill during my exams and cried when I realized that I may have screwed up my maths paper, one of the most important subjects in order to successfully enrol into uni. Thankfully, all went well and I was accepted into an Australian institution. That was 5 years ago. I finally learnt to not degrade myself and lived life to the fullest.
During my final year of uni, I struggled to find an internship at a pharmacy. I remember waking up early in the morning to seek job opportunities but no luck. While everyone else celebrated and have submitted their registration documents, I feared for my current status. I was nowhere as good as the other candidates and time was ticking. The opportunity finally came knocking on my door. I had my doubts but gave in to my faith. Months down the track, the same place offered me another opportunity, a site to start practising as a professional.
Baking these cookies reminded me of how much I have changed since my childhood days. Like a cookie, I start off with nothing but I am capable of developing something extraordinary:)
Matcha cookies
240g plain flour
15g matcha powder
150 softened butter
130g icing sugar
Pinch of salt
2 egg yolks
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
On a separate occassion, I have baked some cornflake cookies but it wasn't the exact taste that I was after. Will keep you posted when I do unravel the secrets behind it!
1 comment:
My heart goes out to you girl! belated congratulations on your internship and job :) I experienced something similar during my degree, trying to look for intern and a job. It's probably one of the worst experiences I've ever had to go through. On a side note, I need to try out these matcha cookies ;)
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